Shmentina:
I'm disappointed. I did not really enjoy it or get much out of it. It was too much cheese and not enough macaroni.
And at the end, it was all for nothing - the crystals did some mysterious thing, and bam, that was the movie.
The whole Santa plot was completely pointless.
Mila Kunis and her physics+designer skills was the saving grace of this movie.
A total eclipse of the mind! Lala lala la lala!
Capellyana:
It had a lot of dragged-out boredom and very unfunny jokes. I'd rather watch the worst horror movie on repeat all day long until my eyes fall out than bad comedies one after the other.
But then came the insane subplot. The crystals really helped.
I did enjoy watching it, especially from the catacombs onwards, because it went full insane mode.
Oh, and if you ever wanted to watch the prequel to Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, this is it. The prestory of how Santa went insane and why him and the Ice Cream Bunny are best friends is all explained here. No, not really.
Special Guest Pony:
How exactly did he manage to jump from the tower all the way to a garbage truck? He must have flung himself VERY forcefully to manage to get all the way to the street...
Pony is preparing a diagram...
6² + 8² = X²
36 + 64 = 100
This is his first draft:
Capellyana protests against the distance values, resulting in Pony's second draft:
Shmentina is also noting that Hulk Hogan is falling from the wrong window, so he has to rotate in addition to jumping a distance of over 12m as a result of getting a push from the Santa statue.
Therefore, Pony has redacted his initial calculations to account for the side of the tower that Hulk Hogan falls from:
After bearing witness to the analyses, Capellyana has changed her opinion of the movie and now likes it.
Digital dumbometers:
Capellyana:
{"lawful_good":0,"stupid_good":3,"chaotic_good":6,"lawful_stupid":0,"true_stupid":2,"chaotic_stupid":11,"lawful_evil":2,"stupid_evil":12,"chaotic_evil":2,"mystical":0}
Shmentina:
{"lawful_good":0,"stupid_good":1,"chaotic_good":1,"lawful_stupid":0,"true_stupid":17,"chaotic_stupid":12,"lawful_evil":0,"stupid_evil":1,"chaotic_evil":0,"mystical":0}
Analogue dumbometer:
+75 / -224, for a total of -149.
Recommended?
Shmentina: No. Definitely not recommended for Christmas.
Capellyana: No, not really. It took a lot of effort to make it an enjoyable viewing experience.